A Study in Imbecility
by Desdamonah Dearborn
Summary: Kurt realizes too late the consequences of bringing his best friend Blaine to Rachel Berry's drunken house party. Afterwards, he takes the Warbler home with him for the night in order to save Blaine the trouble of returning to Dalton Academy drunk. Then there's the daunting task of sneaking into the house unheard. Set during 2x14 "Blame it on the Alcohol."


A/N: This takes place in 2x14 "Blame it on the Alcohol." I loved that scene of all of the Glee kids getting drunk at Rachel's party. When Kurt's dad came into Kurt's room in the morning for baking advice and catches Blaine in Kurt's bed, I got the idea to write a scene to go in between the party and the morning after. Here it is.

-This is a work of fanfiction created solely for my own purposes, i.e. shits and giggles. I do not own the rights to Kurt, Blaine, or any of the other characters of Glee.-

* * *

Isn't it funny how imbecile comes right after imbalance in the dictionary and right before the word imbibe? It's ironic I suppose. Maybe irony is the wrong word for this particular misfortune, but I'm going to pretend it's the right word because, after all, I'm an imbecile.

**imbecile** (im'be sil) _**n.**_ [[ L _imbecilis,_ feeble]] a foolish or stupid person _**–adj.**_ foolish or stupid: also **im'be-cil'ic** (-sil'ik) **–im'be'cil'i∙ty **_**n.**_

To say I was foolish to take Blaine to Rachael's party is putting it mildly. How could I have known that everybody would be getting drunk and playing spin the bottle and that Rachael-effing-Berry would be making out with my gay best friend? She said his face tasted awesome. That's supposed to be my line. Mine.

And now Blaine is asleep in my passenger seat and I have no earthly idea how to get him out. Great.

ӁӁӁ

Kurt jumped a little when he heard the knock on the driver's side window before remembering that it was just Finn, there to help him with Blaine. He opened up the car door and stepped out, coming face to face with his step-brother.

"Need some help?" Finn cocked an eyebrow at him in question.

"Any ideas on how to sneak a drunk person into our house, past the sleeping parents and into my bedroom?" Kurt flicked his bangs out of his eyes impatiently and leaned back against the car, crossing his arms over his chest.

"How come you didn't just take him back to wherever he came from?" Finn asked, although his tone didn't hold the same amount of hostility his wording might have implied.

Kurt looked up at him, astounded again. "Why didn't I take him back to his dorm room?...At Dalton Academy?" He pinned Finn with the usual 'why are you such an idiot?' stare until finally Finn looked away and sighed.

"Alright, I'm going to assume that was a stupid question." He ignored Kurt's nod of agreement and turned back to the sleeping drunk guy in his step-brother's car. "I guess we'll just have to wake him up and…why are you shaking your head?" Finn glared at Kurt. It was way too late for all of this. Or way too early? He couldn't quite remember what time it was.

"If we wake him up he'll probably start singing A Spoonful of Sugar again from Mary Poppins and I don't know about you, but I don't really fancy the idea of waking up the neighbors and getting the cops called on us."

Finn sighed again, throwing his arms up in the air for emphasis. "What are we supposed to do with him then?"

Kurt glared through the window at Blaine's sleeping form and tried to come up with a solution.

"You could carry him." Although Kurt wasn't that fond of watching his crush being carried by his former crush-turned-brother, he couldn't fathom any other way to get the sleeping Warbler out of his car.

"No way." Finn shook his head. "Don't even try to get that lost puppy look on your face Kurt, it isn't going to work."

"Fine then, come up with a better plan." Kurt took turns glaring from one stupid form of boy to the other. He just hoped he hadn't been infected with the male gene for stupidity.

ӁӁӁ

Fifteen minutes later found Kurt and Finn chasing Blaine around the front yard, trying to catch him after he bit his way free from Finn's grasp. Kurt should've tried harder to catch Blaine as he ran by, but he couldn't stop laughing long enough to make an effort. He collapsed on the grass, grasping at his stomach as he tried to contain his silent laughter.

"Oh my god!" He gasped, trying to inhale enough air to form a complete sentence. "Oh my God."

"I'm so glad you find it funny." Finn was still staring at his hand, squinting in the light from the streetlamp. "What the hell? I thought he was asleep." He looked up at Kurt in disbelief. "I mean did you see that drop kick? And what the hell did he bite me for?"

Kurt laughed even harder, threatening to fall off of the curb. "Oh my GOD! He," Kurt struggled for breath. "He bit you!" He practically yelled the last question before collapsing again in a fit of giggles.

"Am I bleeding? I think he made me bleed?" Finn was still crouched next to the open passenger side door, staring at his hand in horror.

They heard the sounds of a car a few streets over and both Kurt and Finn sobered up enough to stare at each other in horror.

"Quick," Finn whispered frantically. "Let's get him!" He closed the passenger side door as quietly as possible before jumping up and looking around for Blaine.

"Where did he go? Did you see him get away?" Kurt was looking around in a panicked state. He couldn't see Blaine anywhere.

"Because you were obviously too busy laughing your ass off to keep an eye on the drunk." He could feel Kurt's glare, but he ignored it, instead deciding to walk down the street and hope for a sign of Kurt's friend.

After a few moments, they heard a rustling in some nearby bushes and turned to look at each other.

"On the count of three…" Kurt crouched down, crawling toward to bushes slowly.

ӁӁӁ

"I'd like to call that The Great Escape. Do you think Warner Bros. will pick it up and make a movie?" Kurt helped Finn as he lowered a now sleeping Blaine onto his bed.

Finn nodded noncommittally.

"Just make sure your friend's up to date on his rabies shots." He smirked at Kurt and spared another glance to his injured hand.

Kurt let out a quiet laugh.

"I'm sorry about your hand. Really." He glared ruefully at the dark-haired teen now slumbering peacefully in his bed. The Warbler looked positively adorable and unable to harm any living thing. "I'm sure he's sorry about your hand too," Kurt whispered, trying to make Finn feel a little better about the situation.

"No he's not."

Kurt chuckled softly and shook his head saying, "No, probably not."

Both boys stood there for a moment, watching Blaine as he snuggled deeper into the sheets, muttering, and by the looks of it, drooling on Kurt's Egyptian cotton pillow covers.

"Oh for heaven's sakes…"

Finn bid his new brother a goodnight and made his way into his own bedroom for a good long sleep.

Kurt spent a few more minutes observing the boy in his bed, unsure if he should join him or not. Finally, he gave up trying to work out whether fate was being kind or cruel, and climbed into bed next to his disheveled friend.

* * *

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it. There isn't a whole lot of meat to the story, just a short little scene of what it might have been like for the boys to sneak a decidedly drunken Blaine into the Hummel house.


End file.
